Failure doesn’t mean we’re irresponsible. Someone with undiagnosed/untreated ADHD may not be able to learn them at all. People with ADHD don’t learn them easily. It’s easy to forget these skills are learned, not innate. Imagine the pain an adult with ADHD feels when we fail at a basic life skill. A five-year-old knows how to stop one activity and move on to another. Our culture starts teaching time management to children in preschool. We experience an agonizing dissonance between the self we know and the person our actions present to the world. įor people with ADHD, intentions and actions don’t always line up. A person left waiting every time feels they’ll never be as important as literally anything else you could be doing. Showing up late to dates, meetings, and everything in between sends a message: I valued you less than something else. How do you feel, having made excuses to the server and finally ordered a glass of wine alone at a table for two? Let’s say I promise to meet you at a restaurant for dinner at 6:00, but I show up a half-hour late. Time management has deep ties to love and respect. Time-blindness hurts ADHDers’ relationships with ourselves and others It can even put us in danger of seriously harming ourselves. It kills our self-esteem and exacerbates our emotional volatility. Time-blindness causes all the screw-ups mentioned above, and more. Neurotypical people may wonder, what could be so difficult about looking at your watch? How could you not know how long it takes to get ready for work in the morning? How could you not have realized you didn’t have time to mow the lawn before our date?ĪDHD makes these most basic life skills exceptionally difficult. Russell Barkley explains it, ADHD “disrupts the fabric of time.” And while time feels like it should be a simple concept, ADHD’s time-blindness finds some complicated ways to hurt us. Our perception of time - or lack thereof - lays the foundation for our biggest struggles. To receive expanded versions of new audio posts and other bonus content in your favorite podcast app, become a supporter of The ADHD Homestead on Patreon. Use the player above to listen to the text of this post.
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